Becca: Unfortunately I can’t offer you a whole lot of experience-related advice, but I have some advice nonetheless.  While your in high school, you have to contend with your parents, and the parents of your significant other, so if your gf’s mom says the two of you may not go to homecoming together, I think you need to respect that.  However, people take casual dates/go with friends to dances like this all the time.  Groups are more common, but some times people go with just one another friend (same or opposite sex).  Maybe the two of you could still go to dinner and the dance together and just not flaunt the fact that you’re a couple.  You can certainly dance together (everyone does), although the slow songs might attract more attention that the fast ones.  And, unfortunately, I can definitely say that if the two of you wear dresses you will be much less conspicuous.  If the one-on-one thing is just really against her mother’s wishes, maybe you guys go in a group (a group of girls would be least conspicuous).  Good luck, and sorry that you aren’t free to bring the date you want :(

Mallory: Just my own opinion-based take on this: I’m from a pretty liberal area too and I thought I would get all kinds of stares and comments but I was surprised to find that there really wasn’t any issue when I was out with my ex-girlfriend, even when we held hands or kissed (although I wouldn’t recommend making out in public, regardless of orientation- ick).  I’d say try it out, because sometimes people will pleasantly surprise you.  And if not, as long as you don’t feel like you’re in any kind of danger, just ignore everyone!  A couple of stares never hurt anyone and you might even change the climate of your town for same-sex couples.  And I say if you can get away with it, go to prom together!  There’s a first time for everything (and what Becca said about people bringing friends of the same sex as date substitutes was true at my school too).  If you feel comfortable and want to slow-dance, you should.  People should see that same-sex couples aren’t that different and they love each other, and are not all that different from straight couples.

We just passed out 400 follower mark. Thank all of you for helping and supporting us! We are all inspirational people. Thank you for sharing this with us, you guys. You’re all great!

Bridget: If you call yourself a chocoholic, chances are you have a favorite kind of chocolate. Yes, I really am making this analogy. Maybe white chocolate really isn’t your favorite, but if it’s there and it’s chocolate, you’ll have some. It’s similar with any sexuality. Everyone has their preferences, even when they do like all genders. If you are on a dating site specifically seeking out women, I don’t think there is a problem with putting “lesbian” as your orientation. As far as I know, there isn’t a box for “pansexual.” If you meet someone that you are interested in, though, be honest and say that you are pansexual but mostly interested in women. If not, she may accuse you of lying. 

Chad: I used to be more religious, I even identified as conservative when I first came out, I believed being gay was a sin too. However, as I grew I came to realise that it’s not necessarily a sin, because Jesus really only gave two laws
1) Love your God
2) Love your Neighbour

and beyond that there is no laws.

For a list of arguments against the verses used in the bible to condemn being gay I wrote this
http://dreamofme.org/blog/?p=162 

Mallory:  First of all, I love how Chad answered this :)  I’m not a religious person in a traditional sense, but plenty of gay people are- it depends where you look.  Some churches/synagogs/mosques/houses of worship are more lgbt-positive.  That might be hard to come by in the Bible belt, but in more liberal areas it’s more common and there are even gay religious groups. (Check out this link for some interesting info)

Mallory:  Frankly, you should be honest and straightforward.  Tell him that you think he’s a great person and you had fun together, but you see him as a friend rather than a partner.  There’s really no way to avoid hurting someone who wants to be with you when you don’t feel the same way, but be as straightforward and respectful as possible.  If you dance around the issue, you’ll only hurt him more in the long run.  Rip the bandage off!

Chad: That’s pretty much exactly right, anyone who is not completely heterosexual and/or does not fit the gender binary

Mallory:  Honestly, in your situation, you really can’t come out of the closet.  If you think your parents won’t notice you sneaking around with this girl, go for it.  However, if you think your physical or emotional well-being will be jeopardized, do not risk it.  In 2 years when you turn 18 you’ll be an adult and you can move out of your home and achieve financial independence and then you can come out.  If you are SURE your family will not harm you, humiliate you, or kick you out, you can weigh your options and decide for yourself whether you want to go through with it.

You might want to talk to someone at the Trevor Hotline (an lgbt youth service).  You can call 866-4-U-TREVOR.

Logan:  You could be genderqueer. Its like you are a mix of both male and female. Either 50 50 or 30 70 or any percentage you feel like makes sense to you.  

But, its also ok if you want to dress like a guy or cross dress sometimes. Just be who you are and do what makes you happy. If this means dressing like a guy sometimes, binding or packing then do it up! 

Logan : the best types of shirts are ones that are a little bit too big, so they don’t fit too snuggly over your chest, and ones that have some sort of a design on them.  button ups usually work the best, if you like to wear them, because you can wear a tighter shirt underneath and then the button up to hang loosely over your other shirt and hide your chest.  

i wouldn’t recommend wearing shirts with horizontal stripes because they kind of show how wide you are and then show how wide your chest is.  

so, what i usually do is wear a tight white t shirt, then my binder, then a looser shirt on top. 

i hope this helps!

Logan:  I had this problem, too! When I was unemployed, but trying to live full time as a male I never knew which name/pronouns to use when filling out job apps. When I filled them out I would either use my legal name straight up, or put my chosen name in quotations in the middle. For example, Legal “Chosen” Last Name. But, I might have had it easier doing it that way because my chosen name is gender neutral. I was asked about it only once during my job interview and I said it was just a name people called me. She was very understanding and didnt care at all. 

But, the job that I am currently at I applied with my full legal name and used female pronouns for the first few weeks. After that I came out as being trans, asked for them to use the name Logan and male pronouns. Everyone at my job has been awesome about it and very understanding.  

So, right now it might be easier to get a job if you use your legal name somewhere in there. I wish this wasn’t the case and people were more understanding, but usually they aren’t.  I realize this may be uncomfortable for a little while to go by your legal name and she, but you might have to be strong for a bit and stick it out.

Good luck buddy!