LGBTQ Advice
Anonymous asked:
Dorktacular question: How do you gather up the courage to initiate a first kiss? I've been with my girlfriend for a while now and I've wanted to kiss for pretty much /forever/. She's not very physically affectionate but I want to at least ask her (I've never kissed anyone romantically, and neither has she).
The words just won't come out of my mouth and I was wondering if you had any tips to get over fear like that.

Becca: If you’re worried that she is not a physically romantic person and does not want to be kissed, just ask.  You can try to be suave about how you bring it up (“So I was reading this thing on tumblr today about how people have different levels of physical affection…. What do you think about that?”).  However, if you assume she enjoys physical affection like most people do, it’s a simple matter of nerve.  You guys have been dating for a while, so she clearly likes you.  I’d say wait for a good moment, then go for it.  Try to be spontaneous (rather than elaborately setting up an opportunity) but probably not so spontaneous that you cut her off with a kiss in the middle of a sentence or while she’s turning her head.  Because that’s just awkward.

Good Luck!

Anonymous asked:
So, I've been secure of my orientation for like 2 years, but I'm only out to some friends. I don't want it to be a secret but there are some people in my school that I don't to know, because I don't like being talked about, I don't mind if they know it but if they do they won't shut up about it, that's what's keeping me from being openly out.

The problem is: I really want to go to a meeting of the local lgbt group but I'm afraid there will be people from my school and those people tell the others that I was there. What should I do?
I really want to meet new people, especially open minded ones because most people I know only care about what they believe in.

Stacy: In my experience with gay groups, it’s pretty understood that you don’t leave meetings and out other people. If you do any kind of introduction, you can always say I’m so-and-so and I’m not really out, etc. If it makes you feel better, why not try to talk to the leaders of the group before you attend a meeting? Let them know what you’re concerned about and see what they say. I’m sure they’d be happy to reiterate at the beginning of the meeting that not everyone is out and people should use discretion in discussing the meeting.

Anonymous asked:
I just realized my orientation (biromantic homosexual) and though I feel really rejuvenated I'm terrified of coming out because of the way I dress and act. I'm very butch and though I'm fine with that, I'm afraid that people are going to assume that I only like a variation of femme girls when I don't. I like other butches. I'm also afraid that they're going to pull one of those "I knew it! It was so obvious!" on me.

What should I do? I really don't want to change the way that I dress and I can't change my preferences (already tried).

Stacy: I think having people go ‘I knew it!’ when you come out is a pretty common experience. It lets them keep some control when you’re giving them surprising news. Particularly in terms of family and close friends, I think it makes them feel better to think they already knew you were gay—then it’s as if nothing has really changed. You’re still the same person you always were. I don’t think they have malicious intent when they say things like that; it may even be something they think is supportive. I understand why it’d be annoying to hear though. Unfortunately, I don’t think there’s much you can do about this or about what people assume are your dating preferences. Fortunately, I think in the LGBT community, you’ll find more people who realize that butch-femme isn’t the only possible match up and won’t make assumptions about who you’re interested in. If you’re talking to friends or family, you can talk about what type of girls you’re interested in, if that’s important to you.

Anonymous asked:
I've been trying to figure out my orientation for a while now and I was wondering if you could give me some advice? I think I'm either bi or polysexual, but I'm having difficulty wrapping my head around what polysexual means and so I'm having trouble identifying my orientation. I know that being polysexual means that you're attracted to multiple genders, and that those genders would be along the lines of genderqueer, gender fluid, bi-gender etc which are outside the binary genders. So I guess my question is what exactly are the multiple genders?

I really hope this makes sense...

Stacy: Well, I’m not sure I know every single gender identity out there but off the top of my head, you’ve got: man, woman, agender/neuter/neutrois, bigender, third gender, genderqueer, gender fluid, pangender, trigender, androgyne, intergender, polygender, and Two-Spirited. I’m sure there are others that I’m forgetting. Some of the terms overlap with each other, too. A couple of pages you can check out for more info are here and here.

Identify as non-binary and have questions?

Stacy: I found askanonbinary today and thought it might be useful for some of our followers. So I’m doing a little signal boost in case anyone is interested in seeking advice from these folks.

What counts as non-binary?

Non-binary is being used as a blanket term for any gender identity which not male or female. This includes, but is in no way limited to, genderqueer, gender fluid, bi-gender, tri-gender, neutrois, androgyne, and agender.
oneshamelesskid-deactivated2011 asked:
Hi I really need some kind of internet reading material on genderqueerness/gender roles/sexual binary/transgender. It can be anything, really, as long as it's verifiable information. Thanks!

Becca: Here is a link to FuckYeahLGBT’s favorite posts.  Towards the bottom is a list of resources/guides.

Also from FYLGBT, posts tagged as transgender:

Here is a website about gender neutral pronouns that I frequently refer to:

Transpride is a good tumblr ( ) as is genderqueer ( )

I hope this helps.  If you want more, you can ask your followers or other people you follow (it’s tumblr, we’re all pretty LGBTQ aware) for suggestions.  Also, put your googling skills to the test.  There’s a myriad of credible information and statistics out there, as well as personal blogs and stories that might interest you.

Anonymous asked:
information we know:
i am a bisexual female
information we are pretty sure of:
girl i am attracted to is bisexual or lesbian (99% sure).
i like her
a lot
she doesn't know i am bi
do i come out to her?
also, how do i woo said female?

Becca: Is this girl your friend? If so, I say definitely come out to her. If she’s not, try to become friends with her. If the two of you get along well, she will probably tell you her sexual orientation when you come out to her. If she doesn’t, it would probably be okay for you to ask her, if you are pretty good friends and have talked about this kind of thing before. As far as wooing, it’s different for everyone. Once you’ve straightened out the sexual orientation question (no pun intended), drop little hints that you’re interested, and see how she responds. Does she seem pleased when you compliment her, or uncomfortable? Ask her to hang out one on one, casually, and see if you guys have chemistry. You can never know one hundred percent, but once you feel pretty get, just go ahead and ask her out on a casual date, or tell her you really like her, and would like to get to know her better. Who knows where it will go from there? I hope this helps, and good luck :-)

Anonymous asked:
I really like my bisexual friend I am bi to so it will work but i dont no how to let her no any suggestions

Becca: It’s great that you know that you and your crush both identify as sexual orientations that include each other.  But obviously there’s a lot more to being compatible than that.  If this friend doesn’t know that you are bisexual, you should let zir know.  This way ze might start to consider you as available, and it will give the two of you something to talk about.  From this point, it’s like any other crush.  Try a little casual flirting and compliments, and see how ze responds.  Does ze seem pleased or uncomfortable?  Hang out with zir one on one, and check out zir body language?  Does ze seem interested?  If so, take the plunge and let zir know how you feel.


PS- please forgive any misuse of gender neutral pronouns.  I’m still getting used to using them

Anonymous asked:
So it turns out that I have a big gay crush on my very straight best friend. How do I handle this problem without putting a strain on our friendship?

Stacy: I think that depends on your friend. If you know they’ll be cool about your feelings, I think go ahead and let them know. You might feel better getting it off your chest. But if you think it will make your friend uncomfortable, you don’t have to tell. This happens to a lot of people and I think the outcome really just depends on how your friend takes it. In my own experience, I told my straight best friend and she tried to handle it but it definitely put a strain on our relationship…

Followers, any other advice?

Anonymous asked:
im a girl. im bisexual. i like this girl. she is straight.we had became great friends. and we used to go out and go do fun things all the time. but i told her that i liked her. and that all stopped. we kissed once after she found out. but that was it. and it didnt mean anything to her. it mean alot to me. recently, she has been ditching me for other people, which is very unlike her. we used to go out and do something everynight. we used to dance like maniacs and go bowling. but everything changed when i told her. we have to spend abut 2 hours after school with eachother because of play practice. and she ignores me the whole time. and starts hanging out with the people she always used to hate. but i just dont know what to do anymore. and i cant get over her either. as much as i try, i cant. what do i do?

Stacy: It sounds like she’s confused about what happened between you two and she’s trying to distance herself from you as much as possible. That’s really hurtful and I’m sorry you’re going through it. There’s not much you can do about her, I don’t think. Trying to make her talk to you again is probably only going to push her further away. I think the better thing would be to spend time with your other friends and try to keep busy. Not only will it take your mind off her a bit, but it may make her realize she’s being silly once you seem to be moving on and not worrying about her.

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